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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24458323">always pretty (you're so pretty)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/HChnD/pseuds/%E3%85%8E%E3%85%8A%EB%8F%84'>ㅎㅊ도 (HChnD)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Cignature (Band), GOOD DAY (Korea Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - High School, F/F, Feelings Realization, Flashbacks, Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining, Non-Linear Narrative, Pining, Time Skips, chaesol kinda suck but it's because she's oblivious, hyunjoo instead of hyeonju because I'm annoying, past vs present, rated for teens but only because a character cuss a lot</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 00:29:03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>11,404</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24458323</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/HChnD/pseuds/%E3%85%8E%E3%85%8A%EB%8F%84</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Chaesol and Haeun have been friends for a good while, had many memories together, a fair share of good and bad stories to tell. There was this tension around them though, one that has always been present but none of them would ever acknowledge it.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Moon Chaesol/Kim Haeun | Ye Ah</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Arthur's Adventures With Fic Fests, Spring Blossom Fest - A ficfest for female idols</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>always pretty (you're so pretty)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>written for <a href="https://twitter.com/sblossomfest?s=09">spring blossom</a> (but posting late, because I'm a mess) hehe! I've added a bunch of words from my bingo in this but only a few were actually explored as a trope while the rest were mentions or just a short scene so I won't count them. in this fic we will have: uni, photography, memories, friends to lovers and confession :D also lowkey beauty but I'm not so sure about this one so. yeehaw 5~6 out of 25, that's actually quite. good lmao but sorry for the delay and for. getting overboard with this..... anyway, do enjoy this! and check out the fic fest for more great fics centred on other girl groups!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>▶️</p><p>“—sol-unnie. Chaesol-unnie, come on. You have classes in twenty, <em> I </em> have classes in twenty, and it would be great if we could grab something to eat before that.”</p><p>The red-haired girl left a groan, too comfortable under the warmth of her blankets to get up and do as told. “Gimme five minutes, Haeun-ah.”</p><p>“Moon Chaesol, did you not listen to a single word I just said?” A pause. Chaesol wondered if her best friend was waiting for her to respond, but she had no plans to do so. It took a few more seconds for her to catch it on. “Please, unnie. I can’t be late.”</p><p>“Then go without me.”</p><p>“You can’t be late either!”</p><p>“I can.” Chaesol left a yawn and remained unmoving. She could hear the other girl sigh, trying to pull the blanket away from her, but she was faster and held it closer.</p><p>She sighed again, tone more tired than before. “Unnie, <em> please?</em> For me?”</p><p>That made her freeze, heart skipping a beat. However, she pretended to ignore it. “You’re not making your kicked puppy look, are you?” she questioned Haeun as she rolled around to finally look at her direction. And, indeed, she had her eyes half-closed, cheeks puffed and a small pout on her lips. Her heart skipped yet another beat but she couldn’t avert her eyes. “I can’t believe you.”</p><p>“You’ve known me for so long yet still can’t notice how predictable I am?” Her pout got bigger after saying those words, arms now being crossed in front of her chest. “Get up and dress up, I am <em>not </em>skipping breakfast nor am I arriving late to class. And if you complain you’ll pay for my order.”</p><p>Chaesol fought back a second groan. Damn it, if she knew that her beloved friend would barge in her flat whenever she felt like it, she would definitely not hand her a copy of her front keys. “Fine, get out. I’m going to be ready in five.”</p><p>“Make it three,” the blond replied in a fierce voice and a threatening glare before leaving her bedroom. The silent <em>or else </em>was very clear and, thus, Chaesol did her best to change fast. She was lucky that she had showered before heading to bed the previous night, otherwise, she’d stink and it would be impossible to get ready as fast at Haeun wanted. </p><p>It was a simple Wednesday and she didn’t have much time, so she opted that basic was the best. A small, black top with a beige jacket on top, and an equally beige trousers. She looked at herself in the mirror that worked as her wardrobe’s door, giving herself a quick glare. Damn, she looked so tired, and there was no time for makeup now. She would need to do it quickly either on her way to class or during it. It was fine, Chaesol sat on the back and barely paid attention anyway, so it was fine. But in the meantime, she opted to grab a thin speck in hopes to distract any passerby from her dark circles, and then, she brushed her hair.</p><p>She didn’t look bad, honestly, but she’d rather take longer to look <em>stunning</em>. But, well, it was a boring Wednesday and this was college. No one needed to look stunning every day, so, this would have to do. For the time being, at least.</p><p>“Let’s go, Ha—”</p><p>She wasn’t able to finish the sentence before a loud click sound startled her. Chaesol opened her eyes to look her younger friend looking at her beloved camera, probably to check how the picture turned out to be.</p><p>Of course, it made her roll her eyes at that, the scene quite too familiar by now. “Will you ever stop doing this? Taking pictures out of the blue?”</p><p>“No.” She shrugged as she turned off the camera, putting it back on her bag and smiling at the other. “I’m a photography major, how can I not take pictures whenever I felt like it?”</p><p>“A warning would be nice, though. I’m not exactly dressed up properly for photos.”</p><p>Haeun stayed a few seconds in silence, maybe deep in thought. “I think it’s better when the picture captured is spontaneous and unplanned. It feels more real, and it’s more beautiful than forcing beauty merely for a click or two.”</p><p>Chaesol bit the inside of her cheeks. Was she indirectly calling herself beautiful? The photo was of her caught off guard after all, and it was not the first time that happened. But as soon as the thought popped in her head, it wandered away. After all, Haeun casually photographed anything that grabbed her attention, and not only her. It just happened to be her this time. </p><p>So, she shrugged it off. “Let’s go to class, before we get late and I have to deal with your rage.”</p><p>“Maybe if you listened to me more, you wouldn’t have to, unnie.”</p><p>“Yeah, yeah sure.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>⏮️</p><p>“You’re pretty, sunbaenim.”</p><p>That was the first thing Chaesol has ever heard from the other girl, when they were young high schoolers who had never met before. She had simply stopped in front of a vending machine, going to buy herself something to eat before class, and the stranger had been next to her. She seemed her age, but with her cute baby fat on her cheeks, she assumed she was most likely younger. Besides, she did call her by sunbaenim, so she was definitely a freshman, one year younger than herself.</p><p>She had spoken the compliment with such a soft voice, as if it had slipped from her lips, that Chaesol almost didn’t hear it. Almost. “What?”</p><p>The girl blinked quickly, cheeks burning a sweet pink. Oh, no. That was so cute. “You heard that?”</p><p>“Yes,” she nodded. “So, you think I’m pretty?”</p><p>“I— I didn’t say a name. It could be anyone.”</p><p>“Oh,” she quietly said, feeling a little disappointed, but only a bit. It wasn’t a stranger who was going to make her feel bad about how she looked, especially considering her self esteem was quite good. Chaesol would just shrug it off and move on with her life, but as she walked away, the other held her arm. </p><p>“Wait! I’m… it’s my first day and I’m a bit lost.”</p><p>She turned around the other. “You’re a freshman, right?”</p><p>The other nodded. “I missed the initiation program because I was back in my hometown, so I don’t know where my classes are…? And I’m not sure who to ask either, and since you’re already here…”</p><p>Chaesol had to bit the inside of her cheeks to not smile like a creep. However, she couldn’t help but notice how adorable the younger was when she rambled. Truly one of the cutest people she’d ever encountered. “It’s okay, unnie will help you.”</p><p>“Really? Thank you so much!” She brought both her hands in front of her body, palms colliding to one another, brightly smiling at the other. “I’m Haeun. Kim Haeun.”</p><p>“Moon Chaesol, but you can call me just by unnie.”</p><p>Haeun nodded at her. “Okay, Chaesol-unnie.”</p><p>“So, which class are you heading for?”</p><p>The younger showed her the paper she had in hands, showing her schedule for the year. Oh, her building wasn’t too far from hers! That was nice. “I can walk you there! It’s quite close to my current classroom too.”</p><p>“That’d be nice, thank you.”</p><p>As soon as she finished grabbing a snack, she proceeded to lead the younger towards the school’s building. The walk was quiet, not really uncomfortable, but Chaesol could feel that there was some tension between them, and probably Haeun noticed it too. </p><p>It was probably because they were strangers, though. They were of different ages too, so there was an extra layer between the two. With that in mind, the older simply walked without a single word.</p><p>The only moment she stopped was when she heard the click of a phone’s camera going off. She turned around to notice Haeun a few steps behind, taking a couple more pictures of a small garden the campus had. “What are you doing?”</p><p>The younger girl gave her a quick glare before staring back at the screen. “It’s pretty.”</p><p>Chaesol stared at the garden. Well, it wasn’t exactly ugly, and it did make the school look more vivid, but she wouldn’t call it pretty either. There wasn’t much diversity, and considering that winter hadn’t fully ended yet, it looked dull. Even during spring, it was a dull garden, with a few bushes and a single tree. </p><p>“Nature is truly beautiful.”</p><p>She stared at the younger once again, noticing how she looked at it. It was different from the embarrassment she felt once she was caught mumbling, different from the gratitude she felt when the senior decided to help her.</p><p>It was hard to name it back then, but it was… attractive. The girl was glowing, somehow, and it was something really nice to witness.</p><p>“Well, we should continue going to the classrooms, otherwise we’ll be late.”</p><p>The other took a while to react, still looking at the garden as if she was on a trance. But soon she nodded, silently following Chaesol until she was right in front of her classroom, bidding her farewells.</p><p>“By the way,” Haeun cleared her throat before continuing. “You really are pretty, unnie. Prettier than the garden.”</p><p>Her cheeks felt warm but she ignored it. Instead, she smiled at her. “Thank you. You’re not bad yourself.”</p><p>The younger blinked at that, not sure how to interpret those words, but she didn’t reply. All she did was nod and walk towards her classroom.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>⏩</p><p>“Unnie, don’t look now, but your girlfriend is approaching us.”</p><p>Chaesol glared at the blonde Jiwon without any expression. “I am single,” she simply said, tone monotonous. </p><p>“Fine, your future girlfriend that could be your current girlfriend if you weren’t so clueless of your own feelings is approaching us.” </p><p>The girl sitting by her side - who was also Jiwon, what were the odds - rolled her eyes, slapping the older’s arm. “Don’t be like that to our unnie.” She winked at Chaesol’s direction before continuing. “They are both equally hopeless dumbasses, it isn’t only her fault.”</p><p>
  <em> “Hey!” </em>
</p><p>“Hello Jiwon one and two, hi unnie.” Haeun casually sat beside the oldest, smiling warmly at them. She put her lunch box on the table, getting ready to start her meal until she raised her head again, noticing that everyone else was looking at her direction instead of continuing to eat. “What…?”</p><p>“Nothing,” the older Jiwon mused happily, with a teasing grin on her lips. “Anyway, Haeunie, you arrived quite late today. That’s quite unusual of you.”</p><p>The red-haired woman was quick to nod, remembering way too well of the events from this morning. </p><p>“Oh. Well, I just,” she paused her words, reaching for her jacket’s pocket to take out her phone. She pressed on its screen for a while before continuing. “I saw a kitty on my way.”</p><p>Finishing her sentence, Haeun turned the screen to her friends, letting the dark-haired Jiwon take her phone and swap the photos. They all cooed at the duo coloured cat, one that was mostly white except for its tail, some spots across its back and most of its face, that was of an orange hue instead. Golden eyes stared at the lense in some, the photographer clearly distant from the feline. In the next few photos, it turned away, licking its fat belly. </p><p>“I wish I had taken my camera with me,” she sadly spoke after a while. “It’s so beautiful.”</p><p>“Maybe you can spot it again.” Jiwon - the blonde, older girl - tilted her head in thought. </p><p>“Do you guys think it has an owner nearby?” Chaesol asked after a while. “It looks like it’s been taken care of.”</p><p>“I hope so,” the other Jiwon replied with a pout. “It deserves all the love of the world.”</p><p>“It really does.” Haeun took her phone back, staring at the screen some more with a small grin on. The older watched the way she looked so soft at that, and that made her heart flip. The blonde was so full of love, had so much adoration for nature, even with a small animal she had just met. It was lovely to witness it. She turned off her screen, pocketing the device, and at that, Chaesol averted her gaze. “I think it’s a stray cat, but it is probably fed by someone. I found it near a restaurant, so that could be it.”</p><p>“Really? Maybe we should all go there one of these days!”</p><p>“That’s a great idea, Hwangji!” The girl beside her said happily. “We could decide a day where we go have lunch there instead of bringing our own meal.”</p><p>“<em>Our own meal? </em>I am literally eating McDonald’s.”</p><p>“Because you’re lazy and slept until late,” Haeun told Chaesol with a scolding tone. She was just joking, it was obvious, but the older still puffed her cheeks and glared at her. It took a while for her to stare at her reaction. “What, I<em> am </em>right. Don’t be a child now, unnie.”</p><p>She raised her hand to rest on her cheek lightly, but to the red-haired girl, it felt like she had been electrocuted. Chaesol blinked at the action, moving further from Haeun. Before she could refute or say anything, her attention had already switched to the two girls in front of them. Therefore, she kept her mouth shut.</p><p>“Anyway, I like the plan. We could do that tomorrow, or maybe after class.”</p><p>“Sure!” The blonde Jiwon answered enthusiastically. The dark-haired girl beside her was also nodding to those words. “Wait, but we have club activities after class. Unnie and I.”</p><p>“Ah, that’s true.” Chaesol pouted at that, remembering that they were both part of the volleyball club in their university, despite none of them majoring in PE. It was more like a hobby for them, something they did to exercise themselves, but even so, they had responsibilities to fulfil and that meant going to a meeting scheduled to start at seven. “Let’s just go tomorrow.”</p><p>Haeun nodded at those words, a small smile forming on her lips. “That’s settled then.”</p><p>The two Jiwons shared a glare but, regardless of what crossed their mind, no one voiced a thing about it. Much the opposite, the younger of the two started talking about this one dance competition she had watched yesterday, changing the subject entirely. Chaesol tried paying attention to the new topic, she really did, but it was something she didn’t have much knowledge or interest on, so inevitably, her mind wandered around. </p><p>Her eyes landed on Haeun again, who had her full attention to the conversation. Despite never really dancing herself, the younger had an interest in it. She found it quite fascinating, quite beautiful, and loved to watch people move their bodies to a certain rhythm.</p><p>As a photographer, she was fascinated by anything she considered pretty. That was what Haeun told her a lot, but for Chaesol, it felt like she was easily amused. Not that it was something bad, it was actually something she envied on her best friend. She saw beauty nearly everywhere while she was pickier. </p><p>Not that many things were beautiful for her, and most things, it was things that Haeun didn’t consider pretty. Like herself. </p><p>Chaesol thought that Haeun was really, really pretty. Maybe the prettiest. But she would never admit it out loud, not when it meant revealing personal feelings she worked so hard to conceal. So, instead, she looked down on her McDonald’s meal and ate it, humming from time to time so that her friends would think she had her attention on the conversation.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>⏪</p><p>“Haeun-ah, something is bothering you, is it not?”</p><p>“Wh- what?” She looked at the older startled. “Why are you asking me this? I’m fine.”</p><p>She knew that she wasn’t completely fine. Chaesol hadn’t been friends with the younger for this long, but six months after their first encounter, they had become the closest with each other. It was a little unexpected how much she had gotten attached to Haeun, more than any of her classmates her age, but despite not sharing any class they would always eat together during breaks and meet outside school. So, even if she didn’t know the other all her life, and even if she couldn’t tell what was going on, she knew that <em>something </em>was going on.</p><p>First of all, it was summer break. The time for fun, time to go out and enjoy freedom, time to go on dates with your friends and to have sleepovers and to laugh. Yet, even if they were sharing a large milkshake at the park, Haeun was sulking. Daydreaming. Deep in thought. As if there was something big to worry about.</p><p>Secondly, even if Chaesol ignored it and tried to distract her, it would only be temporary. Haeun would laugh at it, make a short commentary on her own, but then her mind would wander away once more. And every time it happened, the older would worry and wonder what could be the reason. She didn’t want to be pushy, to force her to talk about something that could be uncomfortable, but it didn’t seem like her friend would do it on her own. </p><p>“Well, you do look fine,” she started carefully. “But you also seem more distracted. More, I don’t know… as if you weren’t fully here, in the real world? But inside your head?”</p><p>Haeun opened her mouth but quickly closed it again. She looked away for a bit, biting her lower lip as her face bloomed a sweet hue of pink. How odd, that wasn’t the type of reaction she had expected. </p><p>“It’s just… Do you remember of Chaeyoung-sunbaenim?”</p><p>Chaesol blinked at that, not expecting the question. “Our senior? The one in charge of the drama club?”</p><p>Haeun nodded. “Well, some months ago I crossed ways with her during self-study. She was me working hard and told me that I didn’t need to stress much because I’m a freshman, that I should take it easy while I could. But when I mentioned that my grades were too bad she volunteered to help me study. Like, she had met me for the first time then? And was already being so sweet to me… It was odd, but I wasn’t going to turn a sunbae down, you know?” The younger raised her eyes to the other girl, probably checking if Chaesol was still with her. Once she was given a quiet nod she took a breath, getting ready to continue. “We’ve been meeting for a couple of months now, just at the library once or twice per week to study… And I think… I fell for her.”</p><p>That made her tilt her head in confusion. “Fell, as in…?”</p><p>She sighed. “I’m crushing on Chaeyoung-sunbaenim.”</p><p>Her friend didn’t look at her anymore, lips forced into a thin line as she looked down at the milkshake cup. Oh, so that was it? Chaesol had thought it was something tougher to listen. Something that would make her heart tighten or make her worry over the younger’s well being. She had thought of all the bad scenarios that could be the reason why she was down, be it someone near her having a bad illness, or her moving away, or anything else, really. She hadn’t expected to hear her confessing her feelings for someone they knew.</p><p>(Although her heart did tighten a bit, it was probably merely the shock of the unexpected news, right? This wasn’t as bad as she imagined— No, this wasn’t bad, <em> period</em>. This was good for Haeun and she was happy for her.)</p><p>“I’m happy for you. So, what’s the issue?”</p><p>It was Haeun’s turn to look confused, brow furrowing a bit. “My crush is a girl…?”</p><p>“Yes, that I know.” Chaesol shrugged at that. “And?”</p><p>“You… aren’t grossed out or anything of the sorts?”</p><p>“Should I? I don’t think so,” she answered honestly, leaning towards the cup that was on the other’s hands. She casually gulped some of the cold beverage but she was still being watched in shock. “What? It happens.”</p><p>“Oh. Okay, I just— wasn’t expecting you to be so cool about it.”</p><p>“Why so? You can’t control who you fall for. Besides,” she paused before continuing. “I might like girls too.”</p><p>“Really? That’s cool! Do you have a crush too?”</p><p>That question made her frown. “No, I just— I have the feeling that I like girls. They’re charming, you know? I don’t need to have a crush to simply know that. I might not have found one for me to swoon upon but… <em> girls</em>.”</p><p>“Yeah. Girls,” Haeun giggled at that. “I can totally relate to that, unnie.”</p><p>“Yeah…”</p><p>They both trailed off, sitting in silence as they watched the kids run around the park, playing and laughing and teasing each other. They both trailed off, sitting in silence as they watched the kids run around the park, playing and laughing and teasing each other. She missed those days, sometimes. Where she was a young kid and could wander around without many worries, not caring about the future. Not caring about herself except for feeling joy, for enjoying herself.</p><p>Chaesol sighed quietly. “So, you’re going to tell Chaeyoung-sunbaenim, aren’t you?”</p><p>“Wh— <em> No! </em> Why would I?” Haeun’s eyes widened at her question, face growing redder by the second. “No, God, she might not even like me back! Maybe she’s straight too, and besides, it’s just a simple crush. It’s better if I ignore it.”</p><p>“I think it’s worth the try,” she said carefully. “You might never know.”</p><p>The younger pouted at that, thinking a little about it. She eyed the plastic cup and, noticing it, Chaesol handed her the drink. Haeun sucked a bit onto the straw, having some gulps of the milkshake before speaking again. “You think I should give it a go?”</p><p>She nodded. “Your worries are valid, but also, you can’t know if they’re right. You might surprise yourself by giving it a chance.”</p><p>Her dongsaeng didn’t say anything at that. She silently kept on chewing on the straw, deep in thought. Chaesol decided not to pressure more than she’s already done, and they changed subjects, talking about something meaningless. It did make her lose her frown and smile in a more natural way, so it was better like this.</p><p>They didn’t talk about feelings much. Not that they didn’t trust each other about it, but rather, the chance never came. The older of the two had no romantic interest and the younger wasn’t one to share too much of her personal thoughts. It made sense that Haeun only told about Chaeyoung months after they became acquainted, and only after she had already developed a crush on her. And, even now that she had shared it, she didn’t share much. It was understandable though, the senior was out of town and the two could only talk through messages, and only at night or early in the morning.</p><p>So, Chaesol let the topic slide. They didn’t talk about it and it was fine. It seemed fine.</p><p>It became a shock to her once summer break ended, classes returning with full force, and Haeun being spotted always with a companion whenever they met.</p><p>“Chaesol-unnie, this is Chaeyoung-unnie. We’re dating now so I thought it was only fair to introduce my best friend and girlfriend to one another.”</p><p>“Oh,” she could only say. It shouldn’t, but the scene had caught her off guard. It shouldn’t, because she was the one who told her to confess, and obviously she was hoping that Haeun wouldn’t be rejected. She was hoping that her insecurity was for nothing, that whoever her crush was, would be able to see the younger’s charm, fall for her, and be with her. Make her smile, make her happy. </p><p>So, really. There was no way for her to pause at the vision of their hands on each other, to freeze at these words. Much the opposite, she should be thrilled.</p><p>But she wasn’t.</p><p>Chaesol licked her lips after a few seconds of no reaction, forcing a smile at the couple. “I’m happy for you, Haeun. And it’s nice to finally meet you, Chaeyoung-sunbaenim.”</p><p>“Please, call me by unnie,” the older said in a casual, sweet tone. “Maeunie speaks so much about you it’s almost as if we’ve been friends for a while.”</p><p>Chaesol tilted her head at that. “Maeunie?”</p><p>“It’s unnie’s nickname for me. And I call her my cherry, isn’t it cute?”</p><p>“Yeah. Very adorable.”</p><p>If they noticed that her tone wasn’t completely honest, they didn’t point it out. But she doubted the couple had noticed considering how their attentions were locked at each other, almost as if they were in their own private world rather than in the same place as Chaesol. It was… cute. It was something beautiful to watch.</p><p>But it also made her feel weird. Out of place. </p><p>Even so, she did her best to ignore the uncomfortable feeling that made her stomach drop. Because it didn’t matter what she thought, Haeun was happy. Chaeyoung made her happy in a way that she probably would never and there was no reason to feel bad about it, much the opposite, she should be glad her friend had found someone to love.</p><p>And so, she did it. She was glad on her behalf.</p><p>(Deep down, though, it made her wonder what it was like to be in love. How does one know? How different it is? Does it really make you so happy, so complete that no friendship can do the same? </p><p>Was love a feeling so great, greatest than any other, that it was okay for her to feel like an outcast? It was okay of Haeun to sometimes prioritize her girlfriend?</p><p>She wasn’t sure, but as always, she’d ignore her doubts. Because she was happy, and that was what mattered the most.)</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>⏩</p><p>Chaesol sighed to herself, being glad that her classes were over for the day. Morning classes were the worst, but thankfully, she had her Wednesdays free after lunch. Once the clock hit midday, she no longer had classes nor any club meeting until the next day, so she felt free to laze around. That was great.</p><p>(The only not that great thing was the little voice in her head, whispering to her to go to study instead of binge-watching a bunch of series. However, like any young adult currently in university, she pretended it didn’t exist.)</p><p>Daydreaming about her couch, Chaesol put all of her belongings in her bag and walked out of the classroom. She walked automatically, not really thinking about it before she crossed eyes with a familiar person, making her stop and smile. “Haeunie, hey. What are you doing here, in front of my classroom?”</p><p>“Waiting for you?” The younger smiled back at her, hands on her backpack’s straps. “We talked about lunching on that new place, remember? With the cat.”</p><p>“Oh. Oh, true, I had totally forgotten about it,” she laughed awkwardly at that, playing with her hair for a bit. “Where are the two Jiwon, though? I thought all four of us would come.”</p><p>“They went before me. I decided to stay and wait for you.”</p><p>Chaesol tilted her head. “They already know where it’s located?”</p><p>“Yeah, I showed it to them before.”</p><p><em> She did? </em>The older girl asked in silence, not voicing the thought out loud. She felt a stinging pain on her chest, one that she ignored because it was certainly not even real. But even if she tried, Chaesol still tensed up as she said, “Oh. Okay.”</p><p>Has Haeun visited the place with her friends but excluding her? Why would she do that? She was her oldest friend, both for knowing her the longest and being a grade above the others. It made her overthink, maybe she even went to the place with their other friends, the freshmen they had adopted and sometimes talked to, and she was the only one who didn’t have the opportunity to go. </p><p>It was silly and foolish to think so much about it, Chaesol was aware of that. But for some reason, she caught herself overthinking and worrying about many things that involved her with Haeun. Sure, the had other worries as well, such as her grades, but to say that they weren’t mostly the younger girl would be a big lie. She was aware of this tension between the two, something blooming around the two of them, with its vines full of thorns that could shed blood out of them, but never being mentioned. It hurt them, it made them uncomfortable and wary, yet they refused to say a thing about it. </p><p>At least, that was what Chaesol felt. She could be imagining things, though. Could be reading into their relationship too much. </p><p>So, with that in mind, she walked beside Haeun, letting her take the lead towards the place. She was also talking vividly about something not super important, it was a small gossip from her class, yet Chaesol tried her best to seem interested in it. Even if she didn’t fully understand the subject, she did like to watch her lose herself in the story and go on and on for as long as she desired. Haeun was gorgeous like this, so she didn’t stop her. </p><p>They walked for a while until the younger stopped abruptly. “Oh, the kitty! Look, unnie.”</p><p>Chaesol blinked at the sudden shout, turning to the direction pointed out. Haeun ran ahead of her, slowing down once the cat raised its head at her. It seemed startled at first, but it quickly calmed down and meowled at her. The scene was quite cute, she had to admit. It warmed her heart as the orange and white feline started to rub its face on the blonde’s palm. </p><p>What a beautiful scene, Chaesol had to admit. It almost made her take her phone to capture a photo, just like Haeun did most of the time. But she kept it on her pocket because she was the type who liked thinking back on her memories much more. </p><p>“How pretty,” she quietly said once she moved close enough, staring at Haeun’s small grin. She had her eyes fixed on the animal, petting it as it purred, and didn’t look up to Chaesol as she said that.</p><p>In her opinion, it was amazing how the other could always be so captivating. Even when she was doing nothing much. </p><p>“It really is. You’re a pretty thing, aren’t you?”</p><p>Haeun kept petting its head, moving to its cheeks and then chin. During the entire time, it kept its eyes closed, enjoying the attention. </p><p>“I think it’s telling you it is aware of that,” Chaesol pointed out. </p><p>“I think so too. Can you grab my camera for me?” The younger finally looked up and signalled to her back, where her backpack was. “So I can photograph this baby.”</p><p>“Sure.” She smiled at her dongsaeng and did as told, carefully taking the device. “Want me to photograph you with it?”</p><p>“Please don’t,” Haeun answered nervously. </p><p>“Why not? It would be nice to have you in it for once.”</p><p>“You know I don’t really like posing for photos, especially when it has me in it.”</p><p>“You don’t have to pose for it,” Chaesol quickly said with a light tone, smiling at her. “Just keep petting it and I will take the photo.”</p><p>Haeun bit the insides of her cheeks, shaking her head. “Nah, it’s fine, unnie. I won’t die without a photo of me, much the opposite—”</p><p>“Please?” She asked tentatively. “For me?”</p><p>“Nice try, but no.” The photography major got up from the floor, a forced smile on her lips. She moved towards Chaesol and took her camera from her hands, careful not to make any force but movement quite rushed. The older bit the inside of her cheeks but let her be, not resisting from it. Haeun turned it on and moved back towards the cat, but once she stared through the cluster, she quickly looked away again. “Huh? It left.”</p><p>Chaesol turned her head to where the cat previously was and, indeed, it no longer was there. “Huh. Maybe it got bored. Since you stopped with the petting.”</p><p>“Maybe.” She left a sigh. “What a shame, though. I wanted to take photos of it.”</p><p>“There is always next time, I guess.”</p><p>“Yeah… You have a point. Anyway, the Jiwons must be getting worried about our delay so let’s get going.”</p><p>She left a small chuckle at that. “If they noticed we are late it’s probably because they’re starving and not because they’re worried.”</p><p>Haeun laughed at that. It had startled Chaesol at first, the sound sudden and loud, and it was then that she realized how she felt stiff the entire time. There was no reason for such, she was her best friend and all. Still, somehow, she felt cautious, as if she could never keep her guard completely low. </p><p>Because, otherwise, she would do something careless.</p><p>“Hey, sorry for taking so long. We found the cat right outside.”</p><p>“So cats are more important than your starving friends?”</p><p>“Don’t mind her, she’s dramatic.” The blond Jiwon rolled her eyes at the other’s words, looking at the duo’s direction sympathetically. “Tell me you took high-quality pictures of it, though.”</p><p>Haeun gave the other a half-smile. “I couldn’t. It ran away when I was about to.”</p><p>“Damn. Kimji and I tried to find it on our way here but didn’t.”</p><p>“I’m your unnie.”</p><p>“We are classmates and I’m early born.” The younger Jiwon rolled her eyes. “<em>Anyway</em>, can we please eat? Pretty please?”</p><p>“Yeah, we can,” it was Chaesol who answered, grabbing a nearby menu and reading its contents.</p><p>She sighed to herself, tuning out the entire lunch. There was still something uneasy yet she couldn’t name it. Something was off, making her stiff on her seat and not participate in their conversation, but… it was nameless.</p><p>Chaesol raised her eyes towards Haeun, watching as she smiled while she told something to the other two girls. She fought down a sigh. There was no reason for her to feel like this, but even so, she felt so out of place. It was <em> uncomfortable. </em>It was like she was an extra one, just there to be there and nothing more. </p><p>Who knows, maybe this was a sign that her friendship with Haeun no longer felt the same as before…? Sure they were still friends, they still trusted one another and tried their best to spend time with each other, but it didn’t mean that things were perfectly the same. Especially since it was clear that the other felt more comfortable with others, and she only kept in touch as much as before because it felt like a chore? Chaesol wasn’t sure, but… something was off with her.</p><p>Or, maybe, it was with them both. Who knows. </p><p>“Unnie?” She blinked at the sudden voice, turning to stare at its owner. It was Haeun, who had decided to walk her to her flat despite having classes quite soon. Chaesol had been walking without thinking much and forgot that she wasn’t alone. “You weren’t listening, were you?”</p><p>“Sorry, I was just—”</p><p>“Did something happen?”</p><p>She stopped her steps to properly give the other a look. Haeun seemed to be worried, a bit anxious, even. As if she was being extra careful with her approach. “No. Why are you asking me that?”</p><p>“Are you sure? Because, like,” the blond licked her lips before continuing, “you seen off most of the time, unnie. And when you’re acting like that, usually, it means something is bothering you <em> a lot</em>. So much that you can’t tone it off like you usually do.”</p><p>Chaesol bit the inside of his cheeks. She hated that the younger had a point, but it wasn’t like she knew why she was this… uneasy. “It’s fine. You don’t have to worry about me all the time.”</p><p>Haeun stared at her for a few seconds, face expressionless, and then she nodded. “Okay then. Then I guess I should,” she paused for a bit, looking away, “let you go home. And all.”</p><p>“Oh, okay? That’s better, yeah,” Chaesol shrugged. “Especially since you care about punctuality so much.”</p><p>“Yeah. Classes,” she gave her a half-smile. “Well, see you then, unnie.”</p><p>She watched the blond girl as she turned around and walked from where they had come from. The uneasy feeling was back, but this time, she could name it. She felt <em> guilty </em>for something, somehow. It wasn’t like she had said something wrong, right? Haeun cares for her classes a lot, and well, she does not need to be so worried over Chaesol. Especially since she doesn’t know what’s going on herself. It’s not her place to be so pushy about it.</p><p>But, even so, she felt bad. And, whenever she saw the other, the feeling got worse and worse.</p><p>So she just stopped seeing her as much. Which, it was probably for the best. Haeun was also a bit weird, too.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>⏪</p><p>One day, Chaesol’s mother suddenly told her to answer the door. The seemingly random order made her frown, it was a boring Saturday and she was not waiting for any visitor. Still, she did as told, opening the door to a young girl with a gloomy expression. </p><p>“Uhm. Haeun-ah, what are you doing here?”</p><p>The other bit her lips before answering. She opened her mouth once, then close it, then opened it again. “I’m sorry, I just feel like I need a shoulder to cry on and I wasn’t sure where to go—”</p><p>“Oh,” she quietly said. “Did- did something happen? Or do you want to not talk about—”</p><p>Haeun started to tear up, chewing on her lower lip, which made the older trail off her question. Instead, she decided to open her arms, inviting her. </p><p>It didn’t take long before she walked towards her, hugging Chaesol tightly and letting her soul cry out. She petted her dongsaeng’s head, with her other hand resting on her back, assuring her that it was okay, that it would be okay, and for her let it all out. She wasn’t sure what had made her like this, but she wanted to support her either way, wanted her to feel welcomed. Wanted her to feel safe.</p><p>And she cried. Haeun cried for what felt like hours despite being less than half of an hour, and it made the older want to cry to. She hated seeing her best friend so vulnerable, hated seeing her sad. </p><p>Seeing her like this made Chaesol promise to herself that she’d never hurt Haeun. She promised herself to only make her laugh.</p><p>“Chaeyoung-unnie broke up with me,” she said quietly once her sobs had ended and the two of them were sitting on the floor, no longer on each other’s embrace. Her face was swollen and there were still a couple of tears threatening to roll down her cheek, but she wasn’t crying anymore. “She said we were being too apart and now that she’s graduating there was no denying of that. She added that it would be better to end things now than prolong the inevitable more and more.”</p><p>“I’m sorry” it was all that she could think of saying. What was acceptable to say in this scenario? She wasn’t sure, it was the first time Chaesol saw love start and end with her two eyes, and it wasn’t even her own feelings, but her friend’s. Despite wanting to comfort her, she didn’t know how to do so.</p><p>But it wasn’t like she hadn’t thoughts for herself. Because, really? What kind of excuse was that? No one knows about the future, no one can predict it, yet Chaeyoung opted to end an entire relationship on behalf of a <em> possibility </em>of it not working out as much as she wished? How could she know that right now, before actually graduating and studying far from the younger?</p><p>When one is in love, don’t they fight until the end? Don’t they grasp onto what they can, as long as they can? But instead, she was giving up without second thoughts. Was this really love? Was this how people in real life do the whole commitment thing?</p><p>Chaesol wasn’t so sure if she wanted to be in love herself. Her best friend had been hurt for something that just didn’t make sense in her head, and it made her hate Chaeyoung. Because she had trusted her friend with the older and she had broken her. </p><p>Haeun didn’t deserve to be thrown away so easily.</p><p>(But deep down, Chaesol was glad that she did it. Not because she hurt their precious dongsaeng, but because it meant she’d leave her life for good. That thought made her feel uneasy, disgusted of herself for being happy.)</p><p>“It’s just,” Haeun, who had been staring down the past few minutes, rolled her head so that she’d look at the older directly to her eyes. “It’s hard to get over your first love. It probably is the hardest, considering that you are naive and new at everything.”</p><p>Chaesol gulped. She was talking about herself, that was very clear, but she couldn’t help but feel like that was advice to her as well. Which wouldn’t make sense, considering she has yet to fall in love, but the uncomfortable feeling was still there. “I understand why it would be. But it isn’t impossible, so don’t think too much about it. Give yourself as much time as you need to heal and move on.”</p><p>The younger kept staring at her, a shy smile forming on her face. “And you will help me and cheer me up, right, unnie?”</p><p>“Do you doubt that? After ruining my cute shirt?”</p><p>“It is far from ruined, these tears are going to dry soon!” Haeun rolled her eyes at that. “Dummy. But anyway, thank you for listening to me. And for letting me cry on your cute shirt,” she paused her words to give the other another long look. She stared for what was probably just a couple of seconds, but with the way her gaze was intense, it was as if time passed slowly. As if she had stared at her for hours straight, without even blinking. Haeun had a poker face that was hard to describe, but not for Chaesol. Her best friend would always look at her photos with those eyes, would always look at nature and small animals and little kids with those eyes. Sometimes, like that day, she’d look as her unnie with those eyes.</p><p><em> Adoration</em>. That was what shined the most in those eyes of hers. It made her laugh once the realization hit her, one she recognized that look, because she liked those eyes the most. Not the hurt she emitted not long ago. <em> This. </em></p><p>This was the Haeun she cherished the most. And she could have those eyes staring at her forever.</p><p>But, of course, it was a simple, quick glare. It didn’t take long for her to have her attention elsewhere, whatever that was on her mind completely vanishing.</p><p>“What would I do without you, really?” She laughed lightly, tone no longer mirroring the sadness she felt inside. “I love you, unnie.”</p><p>Those words were almost silent but they were loud enough to be heard. The uneasy feeling hit Chaesol harder than before, but despite it, she kept ignoring it. “And I, you.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>⏩</p><p>“You fucked up, unnie.”</p><p>“No, I didn’t.”</p><p>“Yes, you did,” Hyunjoo repeated herself, tone more determined this time as she crossed her arms. “Have you not heard a word you told us? I’m not saying that Haeun-unnie isn’t at fault, but you did fuck up.”</p><p>“I did not— Why did I think coming here was going to be a great idea, again? I need <em> advice, </em> not to be attacked.”</p><p>“And I’m a great dongsaeng for pointing out your wrongdoings without being biased! Right, Bomin-ah? Tell unnie I’m right.”</p><p>The tall girl raised a brow at her same-age friend, looking away from her phone. “No.”</p><p>The orange-haired girl pouted. “Fine then. Semi-yah, tell unnie I’m right.”</p><p>Semi, who was quietly sucking on a straw as she watched all of this commotion, gave everyone a quiet nod. “She’s right, unnie.”</p><p>“See? Thank you.” Hyunjoo smiled at those words, letting her head fall on the younger girl’s shoulder. “This is why I love you more than Bomin.”</p><p>“I’d hope so,” Bomin replied right away. “She’s your<em> girlfriend </em> while I’m your <em> best friend. </em>Although sometimes I wonder why.”</p><p>“Hey, kids? The subject is me, let’s go back on track,<em> please? </em> Thanks.”</p><p>“Yeah, the subject is unnie and how badly she fucked up.”</p><p>“Hyunjoo!”</p><p>The orange-haired girl rolled her eyes. “Unnie, you know me. I love you and all, but if I think you did bad, I won’t sugar coat it. I will be honest and tell you that you f—”</p><p>“We get it!” Bomin said loudly, still staring at her phone. </p><p>She rolled her eyes. “What you told Haeun-unnie was a little insensitive. Even if you feel like you had the right to say it, or that it wasn’t that bad, it doesn’t ease it up. How long are you two friends? I am pretty sure that was time enough to make it clear of how much she cares for you.” </p><p>“But—”</p><p>“And now you’ve been ignoring her? Like, that just makes it worse!” Hyunjoo paused for a bit. “Even if it wasn’t that rude before, you avoiding her and being all odd around her <em> certainly </em>managed to make it worse.”</p><p>Chaesol sighed, calming herself down before replying in a rude way. “Look, our relationship has been odd for quite some time now. It happens and it’s fine. Why are you mad at me?”</p><p>“I’m mad at you both,” she said in an assertive tone. “But you seem to be cold and unaffected with all of this while Haeun-unnie is sopping around. And you were the one who was rude to her yet had the nerve to come here and ask for me to, I don’t know, blame it all on her or something. So, really, I have my reasons to be like this at you more than at her.”</p><p>Silence came right after those words. The older girl lowered her head at that, staring at her palms. “I’m not unaffected. Just because I am not showing it doesn’t mean I am fine with all of this mess. I came to talk to you and get advice, didn’t I? I just—” She left a sad sigh. “I don’t know how we got there. Like, I know that what I did wasn’t the nicest thing and that I am a little petty but… when did it escalate to that point? Until we got into this?”</p><p>She watched as the orange-haired turned to her best friend, then to her girlfriend, before returning her attention to Chaesol. “How long has this been going on?”</p><p>“I told you, I don’t know… and I don’t think it really matters. Does it?” She frowned at the other. “It doesn’t change that it’s happened without us noticing.”</p><p>Hyunjoo chewed on her lower lip. She seemed to be thinking a lot at her words, considering them before continuing. “You have been best friends for quite some time, but… there is this tension between you two that is odd. And it was on its limit, so now there is this huge misunderstanding over nothing,” she said quietly, waiting for her unnie to nod. “Why can’t you two just solve it?”</p><p>“It’s,” she started. “It’s hard to do that.”</p><p>“Why? If you’re best friends, and for so long, then it shouldn’t be.”</p><p>“I guess it’s because Chaesol-unnie is in love with Haeun-unnie.”</p><p>The three girls turned to the youngest. “Wh— Goo Semi!”</p><p>“What, are you going to deny it?” It was Bomin who spoke, snorting at her reaction. “It’s a little obvious, unnie. Don’t tell me you didn’t notice it <em> yourself.</em>”</p><p>Chaesol opened her mouth to refute but no sound left it, so she shut it. </p><p>“…No way.”</p><p>“I don’t—” She shut up once more, sighing. “Okay, <em>maybe</em> I’ve had a crush on her for a while, but how does it matter to the situation? We’re friends. Nothing more. Even if I kind of…” she trailed off once more, looking down.</p><p>“Go on. You have all the time of the world to figure yourself out.”</p><p>“<em>Hyunjoo-unnie!</em>”</p><p>“What?!”</p><p>Chaesol sighed once more. “Even if I like Haeun like that. It doesn’t mean anything.”</p><p>“There we go! It wasn’t that hard, was it?” Bomin said with a triumphant smile. “But you’re wrong.”</p><p>She paused. “I do like her.”</p><p>“Yes. But that means a lot.”</p><p>Semi nodded. “That affects how you treat her and how you see your friendship. It’s probably why you, as unnie said, fucked up. Because your feelings were all over the place and you’re bitter.”</p><p>Hyunjoo smiled at her girlfriend. “Thank you.”</p><p>“Your word choice could still be nicer though.”</p><p>“I’ll take what I can, love.”</p><p>As the younger two cuddled and the third girl rolled her eyes, Chaesol was deep in thought. Her feelings were all over the place…? No, they weren’t! She had concealed it for so long, kept it lowkey - although apparently not as much as she had imagined - so there was no way they were even indirectly responsible for this mess! </p><p>…Right?</p><p>Well, she did feel weird when Haeun would leave her out of certain stuff, but that was on her… on her stupidity. Not because she loved to have her attention and felt like her heart was breaking. And she did not talk about some of her problems to her but because she didn’t want to bother her with personal issues. It was unrelated to the way she was so afraid of being vulnerable in front of the younger. It had nothing to do with her fear of accidentally blurting out all of what she kept for so long. It was just… it was just… </p><p>Sigh. She was making excuses, wasn’t she? Her bitterness was completely connected to her love for her friend, how sad she felt that they would never be more than just besties, as well as how jealous she was when they started getting distant, cold, and instead of Haeun noticing, she would act as if nothing was wrong, befriending others and having fun with them.</p><p>It wasn’t like Chaesol was being exactly nice either. She hadn’t noticed this change and when she finally did something, it was something <em> bad.  </em></p><p>
  <em> ‘Well… people change and grow up…’ </em>
</p><p>Haeun had told her that once. Back then it had sounded absurd and she had sworn to herself it would never happen. She <em> promised </em> to the younger that wouldn't happen. </p><p>Yet it did happen and she had a large portion of fault at that.</p><p>“Shit. I fucked up.”</p><p>“There we go.”</p><p>“She must hate me and it’s all on me. I gotta,” she turned around abruptly, ready to leave, “I gotta do something to fix it.”</p><p>“Yes, I’m the smartest— Wait, what?” The orange-haired girl looked towards where the older was. She had turned her back and was not near her shared flat’s door, putting on her shoes. “Unnie, wait! Don’t be impulsive, not now!”</p><p>“I can’t wait! I took a little to long to notice how stupidly petty I’ve been. I must fix things with Haeun as quick as I can.”</p><p>“But—”</p><p>“Hyunjoo-yah, I think you butted in too much,” Bomin spoke before she could go further. “Let unnie do what she thinks is the right thing.”</p><p>Chaesol blinked at that. “Thank you, Bomin-yah.”</p><p>“No worries. But if you make it worse rather than better don’t come asking for advice again. We’ll scold you harder than just now.”</p><p>She gulped. “Okay, that’s fair. But don’t worry, I’ll do my best to not fuck up more!”</p><p>“You better!” Hyunjoo said. “Now get out and get a girlfriend already.”</p><p>The oldest gave her precious three dongsaengs an ugly glare before leaving their place. She wasn’t so sure about the whole girlfriend thing, but she could still try to have her best friend by her side again. She <em> will </em> try that. After all, she’s done a promise, yet hadn’t been doing a good job on keeping it. </p><p>And if Haeun no longer wants to be friends with her after that, well… As much as it’d sadden her, it’d be quite fair.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>⏪</p><p>Chaesol smiled as she spotted Haeun walking towards her, a wide and colourful bouquet in hands. “Congrats on graduating high school, unnie.”</p><p>“Thank you. I’m glad you’ve made it.”</p><p>“I would be crazy if I were to miss such an important day!” The younger puffed her cheeks, faking offence. That made the other laugh as she leaned in to look closely at the flowers, taking it from Haeun’s hands. “They’re pretty, aren’t they?”</p><p>She looked down at it, staring fondly at the bouquet. “Yeah, they really are.”</p><p><em> Click! </em> It took Chaesol a few seconds to process the sound, looking to her best friend who had her phone in hands. <em> Click, click, click! </em>Haeun kept pressing her thumb against the button on her screen, and it made the older blush in embarrassment. Still, she wouldn’t let this chance go to waste. She smiled wide as she looked straight at the camera’s lens, posing with the item around her arms and changing angles after a couple of seconds. Her dongsaeng smiled to herself, attention glued on the device as she kept going. Sometimes she would say a short compliment, which would make the other giggle.</p><p>Her chest felt warm at the scene. And it hit her that, right at that moment, Chaesol was really, <em> really </em>happy.</p><p>“Come on, Haeunie, come take some pictures with me too.”</p><p>“What?” She finally averted her eyes from the screen, giving her unnie a puzzled gaze. “But it is your special day, not mines!”</p><p>“Please, for me? Take a selfie with your unnie. Keep it as a memory of today.”</p><p>She watched the other bite on her cheeks, probably considering to turn the request down. “Fine, just because I love you too much to tell you no.”</p><p>Her chest tightened at those words, but she pretended not to feel it. Instead, she smiled even wider, waiting for her one year younger friend to move towards her side, one hand automatically resting on her hip to pull her closer, so that both her shapes would fit on the photo. Chaesol’s heart pounded so hard she thought she was getting ill, but that couldn’t be it. It was probably just the excitement of graduating, of finally finishing high school and having the person she adored so much right beside her, celebrating it with her. Yeah. That was exactly why she was feeling this sick, this weird. There couldn’t be any other reason.</p><p>“You look really pretty, Haeunie.”</p><p>The younger blushed, staring at her. “Thank you, unnie, but you’re not in place to say that. You’re much more beautiful than I am.”</p><p>“Ay, nonsense. You’re pretty, I am pretty, and that’s final.”</p><p>“We are on different levels though, but I won’t refute anymore.” She grinned at her, brushing her bangs away from her eyes to look again at her screen. “I’ll cherish this selfie forever. Gonna be my new wallpaper.”</p><p>“Oh, me too! Send it to me, let’s match.”</p><p>Haeun paused, staring at her. “You’d like it? Even if you’re going to university?”</p><p>Chaesol frowned. “What does one thing has to do with the other?”</p><p>“Well… people change and grow up… you’ll be an adult and I still have high school to finish.” She turned her eyes towards the older, looking a little sad. “Who knows if you won’t mature enough to not want to talk with me anymore?”</p><p>“What? You really think that’s going to happen?”</p><p>“No, but,” she sighed. “It’s a possibility.”</p><p>“Haeun-ah,” Chaesol started, looking straight into the younger’s eyes. “You’re my best friend, the person I cherish the most. Just because I’m graduating before you it doesn’t mean that I will just throw our two years of friendship all away. Besides, it’s just one year. In a blink, it’ll be your turn to graduate and you’ll be attending university too, maybe even the same as I’m going to.”</p><p>“Is this a promise?” she asked in a quiet voice. “Will you really never forget me?”</p><p>“Of course!” she said a little too loudly. “I promise you, Kim Haeun. I won’t forget you. Okay?”</p><p>“Okay. I believe you.”</p><p>“Good, because I’m never going to leave you,” she swore, hugging Haeun once more. “Mark my words. Not now, not ever.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>⏩</p><p>She wasn’t going to leave Haeun.</p><p>Sure, Chaesol had been stupid and she had hurt the younger, something she had promised long ago that she’d never do it. But this one promise was one she was not going to break.</p><p>She was only going to leave if that’s what she wants. Which, honestly, would be fair. She had been a bad unnie and an insensitive friend.</p><p>So, with that in mind, she ran towards the other’s address, only stopping when her door was facing her. Taking a deep breath, Chaesol knocked on it four times, waited for a bit, and then knocked more four times. There was no way Haeun wasn’t home, she knew her schedule, as well as the younger, knew hers. With that in mind, she waited some more. </p><p>“No one’s home,” she heard her best friend’s voice from the other side of the door. Her chest tightened at that, emotions hitting her right at once. Haeun sounded hoarse as if she was tired. At least she didn’t sound sad, but also, maybe she was simply masking it. By how loud her voice had sounded, Chaesol was certain the girl had moved towards the door and peaked. </p><p>Haeun knew it was her who was outside. And she didn’t want to open it to confront her. </p><p><em> Understandable. </em> That was <em> very </em>understandable. </p><p>In any other situation, she would probably have turned around and given her time. However, Chaesol had given her way too much time, and when it wasn’t required. She couldn’t run away more. “Haeunie, we have to talk. Please, open up.”</p><p>“There is no one home, unnie. Go away.”</p><p>“No.”</p><p>“Then you will be standing there forever.”</p><p>Those words made her freeze, it hurt. It was as if she had just been stabbed. But, even so, she only licked her lips. “Then so be it.”</p><p>Haeun didn’t say anything after that. Maybe she scoffed or made any other sound of disbelief, maybe she was completely silent, that Chaesol would never know. But regardless of what the other’s reaction was, she had made up her mind. So she stayed standing in front of the door, waiting, unsure if eventually it would be opened. She hoped it would, but at the same time, she knew she didn’t deserve it. </p><p>For a while, nothing happened. Chaesol kept staring at the wooded patterns, travelling her sight around its lines. Haeun had no reason to<em> not </em>leave her there for hours straight, but that was fine by her. </p><p>She let time pass by freely, distracting her mind with anything that crossed its way. Standing by a door was not a great experience but it was nothing comparing to her pettiness over something so small. For her, that wasn’t even comparable. So she ignored the boredom, the tiredness that started to consume her. Chaesol was determined to stat as long as the other thought it would be necessary.</p><p>Suddenly, she could hear a metallic sound and, after a couple of seconds, the door was open. Staring at her was Haeun, her hair no longer blond but back at to a dark hue instead. </p><p>“Haeun—”</p><p>“Inside.”</p><p>Chaesol closed her mouth, lowering her head as she entered her place. The younger didn’t wait for her to remove her shoes before returning inside, so she hurried herself to follow her. </p><p>“Do you want anything to drink? Coffee, water?”</p><p>She blinked. “No, I’m— Don’t worry. I just want to talk, really.”</p><p>“Okay.” Haeun walked towards her living room, sitting on a chair near the table. “Go ahead, then.”</p><p>Chaesol waited for a while, looking at her best friend. She looked like she had either slept too little or too much, hair messy and purple circles deep. </p><p>“I wanted to apologize for being insensitive. And petty, too. I have acted very distantly from you and expected you to be there when I needed but also, whenever you were too nice to me I just pushed you away and didn’t tell you why. I had a lot of dumb issues to deal with and instead of opening up to them, I let them consume me. So, sorry for being a bitch to you.”</p><p>Haeun looked at the order and left a sigh. “It’s fine, unnie. You don’t have to tell me <em> everything </em> just because I’m your best friend since high school.”</p><p>“Well, yeah, but I was unnecessarily unfair to you. Especially since,” Chaesol paused herself, looking away. “Especially since it’s probably I should probably be honest with you.”</p><p>Upon those words, Haeun tilted her head in confusion, a frown forming on her face. But, despite the many questions that popped into her mind, she didn’t voice them out, silently waiting.</p><p>So, Chaesol took a deep breath. “I… I like you a lot. Not in the just best friends way, but in a romantic way. And I kept it to myself for so long it was eating me inside without me noticing it. I thought that ignoring it I would stop feeling like that, or maybe it would make things better for us both and I thought it did, but…” she sighed. “Not really. I kept pushing you away because I didn’t want to tell you that I love you a bit too much, but I also kept wishing you would stay around and talk to me whenever you could because I love you a bit too much. And that probably made us very weird after all this time, so, yeah.” She raised her sight to look at Haeun. “I am sorry.”</p><p>It took a while to an answer to come. At first, the younger girl just nodded, probably processing her confession, and then she gave her unnie a half-smile. “Well, I feel the same.”</p><p>It was her turn to be confused. “What?”</p><p>“I like you a bit too much as well, unnie. Maybe… Maybe even love,” she kept going quietly, eyes no longer on Chaesol’s direction. “And, well, if it’s awkward between us both it’s not only on <em> you. </em> I have my share of guilt too. I have also concealed my feelings and kept a lot from you, so I guess I should be sorry as well.”</p><p>“But you weren’t as insensitive as I was. You didn’t avoid me nor anything like that.”</p><p>That made Haeun think for a bit. “True. But it could have been me, too, so. I guess I understand you.”</p><p>Silence filled the room once again. The older of the two didn’t know what to say, so she nodded and looked down. </p><p>It was weird. She had apologized and it felt like Haeun was okay with it, genuinely. Still… it felt a bit odd anyway. </p><p>It was probably because this had become their normal. Which sucked to admit. The first step was to recognize what was wrong and apologize, but it didn’t erase the past. There was still lots to fix in the future. And, despite not being completely sure how, she had decided to do her best. </p><p>After all, she had already broken Haeun’s trust once and was lucky enough that she understood. She wouldn’t let it happen again. </p><p>“So,” Chaesol spoke after a while, breaking the awkward and heavy tension that was once again formed. “Are we cool? You forgive me?”</p><p>She watched as her dongsaeng paused a bit to think, nodding right after. “Yeah, I forgive you. We are cool and all.”</p><p>“Okay,” she quietly replied. "So…”</p><p>“Hmm?”</p><p>“You said you like me, maybe loved me. And I… I told you the same… so does that mean that we…”</p><p>Haeun turned her head to Chaesol, looking deeply into her eyes. “I think we should wait.”</p><p>“Wait?”</p><p>“After all this misunderstanding it would be better to not rush anything. And be clear with our intentions and thoughts. I think if we decide to date right away it’d only ruin our chances to fix things,” she reasoned with a smile. “So let’s go slowly. See it as a restart.”</p><p>The older raised a brow. “Restart?”</p><p>“Yeah. So we don’t act so strictly on what happened.”</p><p>“Oh,” Chaesol said after a while, opening her mouth onto a wide o shape. “Then, hello, I’m Moon Chaesol, currently majoring in astronomy and I love cats. What about you?”</p><p>Haeun blinked at that. “Unnie, we don’t have to go that far.”</p><p>“How do you know I’m older than you?”</p><p>“Chaesol-unnie, please,” she rolled her eyes, laughing lightly. “Fine. I’m Kim Haeun, majoring in photography and… And… I also like cats.”</p><p>“Lame. I said that first.”</p><p>“Hey! Usually, you would reply, <em> ‘Woah, already something in common, that’s neat!’ </em> Since we are strangers and all!”</p><p>Chaesol glared at her for a while, and not long after, burst out a laughter. “Is that how you flirt?”</p><p>“No,” her younger friend shrugged. “I flirt by telling them they’re pretty.”</p><p>She had a response on the tip of her tongue, but upon hearing that, it got lost. Chaesol could only stare at Haeun as shd felt her cheeks burning. “S— shut it.”</p><p>“Fine. For now, at least.” She got up from her chair, walking towards her room. “Don’t you dare to get up from your seat.”</p><p>“Sure but, where are <em> you </em> going?”</p><p>“Change,” she turned towards the living room, already inside the bedroom. “You are taking me out to get some sweets and coffee and you cannot say no.”</p><p>Before she could say anything, the door was shut loudly. Chaesol sighed, but then smiled. </p><p>It was fine. Or, well, they would be fine, which was already a good start. So, for now on, she would need to make sure to <em> really </em> keep her promise to Haeun. </p><p>She would, from now on, treat her the best. Better than ever.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>⏭️</p><p>“—nie. Chaesol-unnie. Your alarm is loud, get up.”</p><p>The girl opened her eyes, looking around the place. She sighed, noticing the loud sound echoing on her small flat. “Haeun-ah, cant you turn it off for me?”</p><p>“No. <em> You </em> have morning classes today, I don’t. I’m sleeping until midday.”</p><p>She turned around, watching her sleepy girlfriend. “Please? For me?”</p><p>At that, Haeun opened one eye. “You aren’t trying to make my move on me, are you?”</p><p>“Well,” she paused. “Is it working?”</p><p>“No. Now get up. You took so long the alarm shut itself.”</p><p>“That means I no longer have yo get upright?” Chaesol smiled warmly, cuddling the other. “Besides, I would rather stay here in bed with you than on that cold classroom with that old man.”</p><p>The younger smiled at her. “I would rather it too. But you already missed last week and if you miss too many classes you’re not going to be able to graduate this year. Is this what you want?”</p><p>She pouted. “No.”</p><p>“Then go.”</p><p>“Fine. Give me a kiss before though.”</p><p>Haeun moved quietly from the bed, giving the younger a peak on her lips. “Have a good day today, unnie.”</p><p>“I will. Thanks.”</p><p>Chaesol watched her girlfriend move back to sleep and got up, dressing up for her classes. She took her time, knowing that later that day the two of them would have a special dinner. Once she was pleased with her reflection in the mirror, she closed her wardrobe.</p><p>Before leaving her flat, she gave Haeun another look. She was once again asleep, cutely cuddling a pillow. Without much thought, she did exactly as the younger would do if their roles were swapped: she took her phone from her bag and took a picture.</p><p>After all, in the same way that Haeun thought she was the prettiest, Chaesol believed her girlfriend was beauty herself.</p><p>⏹️</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>if the last emoji doesn't load for you, it's a stop button similar to the rest. hope that reading this wasn't too much of a bad experience! :D</p></blockquote></div></div>
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